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Commander Private -- By: Private101

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PremiseEdit

This may happen, but might not. It can also be known as "The Most Extreme Private!". Oh yeah, the plot is similar to Concrete Jungle Survival. But this time, Private takes getting to see it to "The Most Extreme!")


StoryEdit

One Monday, Private wants to look at an encyclopedia that Skipper is showing to Rico and Kowalski.

Unfortunately, just like when he wouldn't show Private the joke book, Skipper refused to, saying once again "You have to get a promotion in order to get to see this"

Private gets into a rage, attacks Skipper, and screams to him "THAT'S IT! I'M TIRED OF YOU SHOWING THE OTHER PENGUINS STUFF I CAN'T SEE! AND I'M NOT GOING TO TRY TO GET A PROMOTION JUST LIKE LAST TIME! THIS TIME, I'M GOING TO FIGHT YOU FOR THE RANK OF CAPTAIN!"

This shocks everyone! Kowalski says, "How in the world could Private defeat such an experienced combat leader!?"

"Well, why don't we see how?" says Skipper. After that, he puts up his flippers and says "Bring it on Private! Let's see if you have what it takes to be a commander!"

"Oh, it's been brought!" says Private.

The two penguins prepare to battle, with Kowalski as the Referee! Kowalski announces, "This is a one-on-one bate between Skipper and Private! The match will be over once one of the fighters is knocked out! This battle will have no time limit! When Rico's artificial street light flashes Green, the match will start!" With that, Rico turns on his artificial street light, and the lights flash Red, Orange, and Yellow, but not green. Kowalski replies "Uhhh, Technical difficulties!" Then, after 5-minutes, all three lights flash green! Once that happens, Kowalski shouts "LET THE BATTLE BEEEGGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!"

Skipper prepares to launch the first attack he always uses against penguins who challenge him for leadership: The karate-chop!

But right before Skipper can strike, guess what Private does: he kicks Skipper in the privates! (This isn't really inappropriate! After all, birds, reptiles, and the monotremes (like the Platypus) have only one hole for depositing waste and laying eggs called the Cloaca. You can't really see the cloaca because it's perfectly hidden from view.)

Kowalski and Rico are shocked at what Private did; no one has kicked Skipper in the Cloaca before! Skipper just lies there saying "Ow, my privates!" saying "my privates" three times while holding his crotch. Then he says "Oooooowwwwwwwwwwwww!" before falling unconscious.

Seeing what Private did, Kowalski gets excited, takes Private, Rico, and the unconscious Skipper to the top of the headquarters, then says "WOW! You DEFEATED Skipper in just once hit! Usually, it takes several hits to knock Skipper out cold! Unless you count the time Barry touched him!"

Privates response is "Oh, that's how I used to fight back when I lived in Six Flags Discovery Kingdom; Whenever an animal got into a fight with me or another animal, I just kicked them in the privates or the butt! (Just like when he kicked Skipper, it's not inappropriate because you can't really see the privates of a sea mammal!) In fact, I settled the fights so much, the animals gave me the nickname 'Crotch-Kicker!"

Upon hearing this, both Kowalski and Rico accept him as the new leader! Kowalski asks Skipper what he thinks, but the only sound he makes is a groan, before falling completely unconscious. Kowalski takes that as a yes, then suggests that they knock-out the zoo's most annoying animal, which everyone agrees is King Julien

So they set off to tackle King Julien leaving the unconscious Skipper behind. When Alice walks by and notices his body, she goes "Well, the Penguins are a secret agency. I'm pretty sure that this guy went unconscious during a secret mission!" (Indicating that while she knows about the penguins secret lifestyles, she doesn't tell anybody else.) After saying that, she picks up Skippers body and carries him to the vet.

As usual, King Julien is annoying the Chimps with the Congaga! However, he's stopped in his tracks when Private appears out of no-where and kicks his "Booty"!

Upon getting kicked, Julien goes "Ow! My Booty! Who in the world kicked my Booty?! Ooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Soon after that, he falls unconscious just like Skipper. The attack impresses Mort, Maurice, Mason, and Phil. Maurice replies "WOW! HOW'D YOU KNOW THE KINGS BOOTY WAS HIS WEAK SPOT?! IF I HAD KNOWN THAT FROM THE DAY I BECAME HIS SERVANT, I WOULD'VE KICKED HIS BOOTY EVERY TIME HE PUSHED US TOO HARD!" Well, Private tells him the same thing he told Kowalski and Rico.

Afterwards, the chimps and lemurs decide to have Private kick his crotch every time he annoys one of them too much, which Private accepts, as long as he doesn't have to do it too often. When Maurice asks why not, Private makes an excuse and says "Well, he could starve or get dehydrated if I knocked him out cold too much!" Well, Maurice accepts, then Mort says, "And now I can touch the Royal Feet all the time while he's unconscious!" But unknown to all of them, someone was watching all of the action. The mystery creature says "So Private has taken over penguin operations! I must do something about this! Hehehe hahaha!"

That evening, Skipper wakes up, and finds himself in the hospital! Upon looking around, Skipper says "What happened? Why am I in the hospital?" In order to find out, he escapes his cage and returns to Penguin HQ. Upon returning, he is shocked to find that while he was unconscious, Private had taken over as the leader of the Penguins. Then Kowalski tells him what happened while he was unconscious. Skipper heads over to Private and tells him, "Alright Private, it's time to hand over your temporary leadership back to me!" But Kowalski replies "Actually, Skipper, Private's rank as Commander is now permanent! Isn't that right Rico?" Rico agrees.

Hearing this makes Skipper shocked, but it also makes him wonder how Private managed to take over the rank as commander! Private revives his memory by telling what happened in the morning. Suddenly, Skipper replies "Now I remember! Maybe I should've let Private see that encyclopedia!"

After that, Private tells him what he told Kowalski and Rico after he defeated Skipper. Skipper replies, "WOW! That's amazing! How come you never showed how tough you were when we first met, Crotch-Kicker!?" But when Private hears Crotch-Kicker, he throws himself into his bunk and says "Don't say that Nickname!!!"

The other penguins are surprised to see Private's response to that. Kowalski then theorizes "Well, judging from what he did after what you said Skipper, it probably brought back some terrible memories! For now, I suggest we don't bother Private about it ok?" Well, the other penguins accept, Skipper saying "Yes Kowalski, if we kept on calling him that, he'd probably run away"

Soon after that, a cry for help is heard! After scanning the map monitor, Kowalski says "The cry is coming from the Meerkat habitat! It's not on the map, but it exists! It's right where Melman the Giraffe used to lived, which is right to the North of Joey's habitat!"

Private says, "Well, let's move out boys! It's time to do Operation: Meerkat Trouble!" Everyone, even Skipper, goes ""YES SIR, CAPTAIN PRIVATE!"

Once that's done, Private leads the gang over to the Meerkat habitat, which is called Meerkat Manor. (After the famous show starring a group of Meerkats called the Whiskers) Once they arrive, they are shocked to find the Meerkats gone. Private tells everybody to search for clues, then tells Rico, "We need four magnifying glasses!" Well, Rico regurgitates what Private ordered! After that everyone spreads out to find what happened!

At first, there's no luck in finding clues to what happened. Kowalski did find what looked like a clue, but it turned out to be Meerkat fur. (Apparently, Kowalski is not very observant.)

More info later...




END OF ARTICLE

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