Scar man is fanfic dedicated to the fandom, the title says enough but the man with a scar isn't who you think it is.


The rat king was at it again with taking over the zoo, "he's all mine" Private exclaims boldly and charges at the mega mouse only to get punched in the face, then he passed out.

When he woke up it was blurry, "stay with us Private, we're not losing you today" Skipper's voice echoed, Kowalski was checking his face for any wounds and found a few, "ah my face, is it broken?" Private screams, the other penguins cringe from it, "come on Private lower your hands, I'm sure it's not-so bad! so very bad!" Skipper screams and bandages his whole head, "this is going to take a while too heal?" Skipper states, by about a few hours Ike removes the bandages and everybody brace themselves, but luckily the injury is healed, "oh it's finally healed" Miyuki comments, "but how does it look?" Private asks, they hesitantly hold a mirror for him, "oh my gosh there's a scar" Private gasps at, and indeed there was a scar over his right cheek, similar to Rico's, "my face is ruined" he sulks, "aw come on it isn't tha' bad, right guys?" Rico asks the others causing Private to look in sadness, none answered and Private angrily put a bag over himself, "well I think it make you look tough" Rico compliments trying to cheer Private up, he knew what Private was going through, "yeah right" Private objected.

"I mean it, who the toughest animal you know?" Rico offers, "Elvis" Private answers pointing to Elvis who blushes, "who the toughest penguin" Rico offers again, "you and Skipper are the toughest penguins" Private answers again, "boo-yah" Rico exclaims shoving Skipper and Elvis away, "and do you think I was born wit' my scar? nope, I used to have smooth cheek minding my own business when suddenly "slash why?", a knife swiped across my face in some crazy accident, but it made me into who I am now, the scars man, the scars" Rico explains, "for real?" Private gasps in aw, "yeah for the real Private" Kicker compliments, "hey what's up with that penguin? why is he so manly huh? oh it's just the rad scar on his face" Private jokes, "uh oh I think we have some tough times ahead of us" Rico humors, 'Tough Times'.

The two then began walking around all tough-looking, with Private posing for the ladies, 'so so tough', then the two work out, 'ooh', then they ware street clothes and eat snow cones, 'aw', then Private plays guitar while wearing sunglasses, then removes them slightly to pose, then they continue walking all toughish, 'super tough', then they wear jackets and Private shows off some more, 'hi there toughster'.

Kowalski was busy with chemistry when he mixed two viles up and they exploded, sending the door into Private who blacked out, "bandages, we need more bandages" Skipper orders, Private's arm looked banged up but he could still move it, "don't worry I got this" Ike states as he creates a slang, "don't let this bum you out" Skipper asks, "it won't", Private dismisses, "it's going to be okay" Elvis consoles, "I know" Private dismisses again, "are you not upset over your possibly broken arm?" Sheen asks, "nope, now that I have this broken arm to go along with my manly scar" Private answers looking all aggressive, "so hot" Hunter compliments who had dropped by to see Private's scar, "what was that Hunter?" Private asks, "uh nothing" Hunter stutters, "injuries are tough in all but getting them is never a goo' thing" Rico states, "it worked out for you" Private reminds, "maybe Rico's right-ah" Obi-wan slips on a piece of glass and everyone laughs, except Private, when they noticed they were slightly surprised, "hey Private you're not laughing?" Harry asks, "I may have thought that was funny, but I'm a man now, scar man" Private explains, 'scar man' and he zooms in on himself, "whoa" Hunter remarks.

"wha' is it with Private breaking his arm on purpose" Rico complains, "you mean 'scar man'" Skipper jokes, "his name is Private" Rico retorts, "that it is no boy" Hunter comments dreamily, "I was just trying to cheer him up by telling him scars were cool, but now he has taken it too far" Rico remarks, "hey my mans, here you go" Private's voice says and a tool box was thrown to Rico, "what did you do Private?" Rico demands, "just made myself a little tougher" Private answers and emerges in his old armored suit now with more strength, "and it's scar man" Private adds, 'scar man'.

'so-scary' "you can say that again" Hunter compliments, "scar man" Private repeats, "whoa" Hunter comments again, "you do not get" Rico complains, "oh I get it, I used to have a little kid arm and a little kid leg, and now I'm bigger and manlier than ever" Private retorts, "this is not an improvement" Rico objects, "you say something, couldn't hear you over my manliness" Private ignores.

Private was listening too awesome music when Rico came, "how's your arm?" he asks, "can't hear you" Private ignores, then adds, "I prefer to remain awesome thanks", then unleashes a flamethrower on Rico, "excuse me, I'm taking this party sky high" Private states, then had the radio say 'sky high' in Rico's face, then Private blasts out of the roof, "there has to be a way to make him realize that what he's done to his body is terrible" Rico complains, then got an idea.

Private was zooming around in the air showing off more when he heard a whistle, "hey Private, look at me, look at how tough I've made myself, ooh bleeding wounds, so tough, and check out my missing toes" Rico states making himself look hurt, "manly enough for ya?" he asks, Private gasps, "what did you do to yourself Rico?" he asks, "I'm teaching you a lesson, that hurting yourself and replacing them with prosthetics just ain't cool" Rico yells, "psst what evs" Private scoffs, "taking care of yourself is more important than looking tough man" Rico yells again, "uh ha sure you done yet?" Private asks ignorantly, "yeah I'm done" Rico states walking away, Private suddenly feels bad and walks to him, "I'm sorry maybe you're right, I guess I got carried away with my pursuit of toughness" he apologizes, "I think we both got a little carried away" Rico remarks looking at himself, they then laugh together, "you do look pretty tough though dude" Private comments, "this is tough?" Rico asks, "you just upped your man factor five times" Private explained, "hey what else can we do to up our manliness?" Rico asks, "only one way to find out" Private states, 'man-tage'.

'Heavy lifting' the two were lifting weights, 'fishing' Private was fishing Rico out of the pool, 'grilling' they then began to grill, showing off their throat-spines(known as esophageal papillae) colored in gold, 'yard work' they were trimming plants, 'body hair' Rico puffs out his feathers and Private forces a feather mustache to sprout.

"That was so manly yo" Private remarks, 'so manly', "yo that is one tough sunset" Private comments looking at the sunset, "just like us bro, just like us" Rico agreed on, then the sun itself said "tough".

                                                     the end


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