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Villans Unite! -- By: MysteryGirl

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Villans Unite

PremiseEdit

Dr. Blowhole, Rhonda, Clemson, Hans, Cecil and Brick, Pr. Razorbill, Officer X, Mr. Chew, the Rat King (Bandersnatch), Emperor Spacesquid, and the Red Squirrel are all teaming up against the penguins (as well as their honorary member, King Julien) in attempt to be rid of them once and for all... if they don't destroy each other first.


The StoryEdit

My fellow fiends,

You may not know me personally, but I've been snooping around long enough to know all of you. You all bring something different to the rendezvous I've arranged at the exact, pinpointed location I've provided to you on the map attached to this very letter... it may seem that we have potential on our own, but together, we have the advantage required to be rid us of our greatest common enemy: the four annoying pen-gu-ins that live in the Central Park Zoo. For a long while, we have been outwitted, outmatched, defeated, and humiliated by our flightless foes, and I have a plan in which we can trap them for later disposal, but I cannot fulfill it on my own. Although I'd assume you'd agree to it, knowing greater success will be assured to us all, I must warn you that there can be no double-crosses in this alliance, all I can say is that you're either in or out... your choice.

Awaiting your answer, the most diabolical super-genius of the century,

Dr. Blowhole

PS: Shred up this note after you read it so none may find it.

This was the letter the wicked dolphin sent to every villain he could locate (except for his ex-lab-partner, an auk named Pr. Razorbill... that one got the message in a "house call"). Most all of them made it (though he had to send his lobster warriors to "insure" there's no set-backs... and test the potential in the process), and he made translational earpieces for the humans in the group to avoid wearing out the buttons on the super-computer. There was Brick and Cecil, a pair of professional criminal thieves... well, Cecil was the professional criminal, Brick was just a dopey "gentle giant" that is along with on ride to make his partner in crime/ "best friend" happy. Officer X, a man who literally never knew his own name (not by poor memory... his mom just classified it), is unaware he is working for an animal, since its usually his job to have authority, but figuring it takes an animal to know one, he gave Blowhole a chance... this time! Blowhole expected Nana Bluehair to show up, via the rumors about Africa, but felt embarrassed to learn that old lady never even got the note and her dog answered in her place, awkward... until he learned why the doggie was named "Mr. Chew". The Emperor Spacesquid got the message as well (though a letter to Mars is usually a game of chance), and so did the lord of the rats, King Bandersnatch (though, for the record, Blowhole wished that one was an accident!), and Pr. Razorbill turned up... "fashionably" late, right after his buddies from Hoboken: Agent 12 (aka Rhonda the walrus) and Clemson. The last to show up, however, was a surprise all together, for non expected that, peering over Mr. Chew's shoulder before he chewed up the letter, Dr. Blowhole's idol, The Red Squirrel, would come out of hiding to offer a service!

Meanwhile at the zoo, it was evaluation day, and it was Private's turn. "Standing at attention," Skipper said, checking off the list in his flippers, "aces! Now Drop and give me twenty." Oddly, the Private as still as stone. "You hearing me Private? On your flippers, pronto!" still no response, and Skipper's patience was wearing thin. "whats the matter with you..? This little joke of yours is bordering on insubordination!"

"Skipper...? Why are you talking to that plush toy?"

Turning around to see the real Private behind him (and hearing a squeak when he poked the imposter) Skipper was embarrassed to find that he did do evaluation on a toy, but he hid the shame well, in a way that would humor himself. "Camouflage... A+! Good work plushy!"

Rico would've been next, but his turn was delayed... something about that crazy knucklehead's head getting stuck in a zoo-cart! Thank goodness the lemurs got honorary membership to there agency, otherwise Kowalski would miss his turn... where was that brainiac anyway? It didn't take Skipper long to find out, as the lieutenant had a guest in his lab, a female lemur in fact, and Kowalski was telling a complex joke to her.

"... and so the Collage Student said to the Professor:'Come tutor me at my dorm this weekend and we can discuss my final grade over some Pi!'"

"Pi? As in the Einstein equation?!" Duchess Lucinda couldn't help laughing, "Oh Kowalski, that is just classic!"

"Not as classic as sending Private to chase the 'little man in the fridge' while you put that plush doll for Skipper to evaluate instead." Kowalski admitted, "Those two would be busy for hours!"

The two geniuses turned around at the sound of Skipper clearing his throat. "We aren't that stupid, you know!"

After all three of his comrades were evaluated (Rico got unstuck from the zoo-cart before lunch), Skipper got them into the usual calisthenics, but not before insisting that Lucinda "bothers" Marlene for a while.

Marlene told the duchess a lot about the penguins, mostly about the ridiculous stories they tell about fighting a dolphin super-villan named Dr.Blowhole... even the royal twin, King Julien, got into the act!

"A part of me actually wants to believe them," Marlene admitted, "but those doodles aren't evidence enough for me. You'd think there'd be a spy camera with real photographs involved in that, otherwise those storied don't even make sense... I mean, escaping a 5 second self-destruct with half a second to spare? How small can a dolphin's lair be anyway?"

"Can't you follow them out of the zoo or something?"

"I'd love to, Cindy but... I was born in captivity, I don't get out much, and when I do... well lets just say the foosa are the least of your problems next to me in the outside walls."

"Does this always happen to you?"

"Almost always. Its kinda weird, really. When I leave through the sewers or a taxi to the harbor or Chinatown I'm okay, but when I actually set foot outside just to stroll through the park, everything becomes a blur to me, and I wake up back at the zoo main gate with somebody telling me what I've done. Just take my word for it."

"Sorry Marley! No photographic evidence!"

Without warning, Rhona came by to visit her old roommate... and fulfill her part of the plan, by keeping the alias of the penguins from helping at all costs. Helping her was Emperor Spacesquid, Clemson, and (to everyone's surprise) the Red Squirrel!

By now, the penguins were given an all out alert, as they left the lab, and as they were gone, Hans and Pr. Razorbill managed to sneak in and sabotage the penguin HQ! Meanwhile, Cecil and Brick were stealing trucks from the nearest candy factory to cut of the peanut-butter winkie supply line, and Officer X (disguised as a lady) was stuck with Mr.Chew as they distracted Alice and the other zookeepers, and only two weren't fooled: the junior zookeepers, Zeke and Amy Dehauntedo, with the voices, wits, and instincts of any animal.

Only they noticed that King Bandersnatch was stuck with tunnel duty, as he punched the support systems of all the habitats just above the sewer-lines for a hasty escape with the prisoners, and to prepare a trap for the penguins (it's a good thing these kids know Roger, or they'd never track that rat)!

Once the penguins were captured, the royal twins got separated. King Julien got trapped with the others, and Dr. Blowhole had Duchess Lucinda alone in the park, where he at first made it look like he was on her side by trapping a few crooks that wasn't even on his so called team. Lucinda's suspicions sprung back to life when he offered a little gift: the very thing that she'd recognize anywhere as a shock-collar! Luckily, she wasn't really alone, as Eggy was watching close by, got suspicious from the start, and when a strange, glowing goo-ball offered the duckling a serum, he desired to take the risk. Even the temporary one ducking army was a match for the deranged dolphin (then again, the cloning tonic copies were weaker then the original) but Marlene's savage side did startle him enough to buy them time for escape!

While they rendezvoused back at the zoo with the few animals the villains somehow missed, mostly females including the badgers, the baboons, and a few chameleons, meanwhile the penguins, lemurs and everyone else had plenty of trouble escaping since the space squid emperor took up guard duty since they never stay trapped, but Roger guided the cavalry to the right spot. Marlene had been practicing along the way, and her control over her wild side made her one of the greatest fighters there... though she wished she was unwittingly wild again when she found out Blowhole was real, which would've left her open for the red squirrel if Rockgut didn't come back in time, upset to learn Grr-fur-giggle-stan is nothing but phony baloney. Soon enough the fight got intense enough to confuse the enemy into fighting their own and losing. the space squids returned to Mars, the rats hid in the sewers, Mr.Chew was almost given a time out, but being frightened by the Zirconia-based upgrade to Lucinda's La Phantasma costume was punishment enough, so Rico gave the dog a chew-bone and sent him away, the rest of the villains were given a trip to there version of prison, federal for the humans (who destroyed there translators... except brick, who took a secret liking to Eggy) and the Hoboken Zoo for the remaining animals, except the Red Squirrel, who turned out to be Fred's real granny (shocking Rockgut, who never expected his foe to be female, but as glad that her grandson is a fate worse then a death sentence as the idiot nut-boy payed the fine... in peanut-butter), and Dr.Blowhole, who was living his worst nightmare as Doris' water-ballet dance partner (Kowalski's way of telling her he's finally over her) in his "Sabashcian the Coney-Island Dolphin back-from-the-dead tour". Had cleaned up so fast, it was almost as though it never happened... until Duchess Lucinda accidentally crated an interdimensional portal to an actual Grr-fur-jiggle-stan, but that is another story.




END OF ARTICLE

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